Sleeping giant

Club who hasn't won a trophy since David Weir was in short trousers.

Panic buy

See also Akinbiyi, Ade

Weir, David

First choice Scottish centre-back despite being older than Stonehenge.

Gold

Substance that strikers are said to be worth their weight in. This is palpably not true. When players were going for around the £1.2-£1.5m mark, this was the case. Even at today's record gold prices, Fernando Torres is worth upwards of twenty times his weight in gold.