What the f

France 1-1 Ireland
France win 2-1 on aggregate

Slovenia 1-0 Russia
2-2 on aggregate. Slovenia win on away goals

Bosnia 0-1 Portugal
Portugal win 2-0 on aggregate

Ukraine 0-1 Greece
Greece win 1-0 on aggregate

You can only really start a World Cup round-up at Stade de France. Ireland came up with a battling performance against France and forced extra time after Robbie Keane converted Damien Duff's pinpoint cross. That was the only time the Irish beat the inspired Hugo Lloris in the French goal. Ireland had marginally the better of the extra half hour as well, but then came the controversy. After the referee had denied France a penalty, probably correctly, when Shay Given came off his line sharply at the feet of Nicolas Anelka, he summarily failed to see Thierry Henry handle the ball twice before squaring it to William Gallas who turned in an equaliser on the night and the winner overall.

Henry didn't deny that he'd handled it, instead claiming it to be the duty of the referee to spot it. He has a modicum of a point, but one which was greatly undermined as he wheeled away on celebration as if he'd just been granted the kingdoms of France, Spain and Portugal as reward for his cunning and then the faux-sportsmanship after the game as he commiserated with Richard Dunne. Frankly, if Dunne had punched him the throat and told him to fuck off, he'd have been more than justified.

Giovanni Trappatoni has seen pretty much everything in football and was characteristically magnanimous in an FAI press conference the following day. While the FAI barked up very much the wrong tree in pleading for a replay, Trappatoni expressed his disappointment in his now trademark half English-half Italian and seemingly moved on quickly. Dara O'Briain was on the radio and came up with a great idea. Throughout the World Cup finals, they should be referred to as France*. We'll certainly be doing that here.

Elsewhere, seeds Portugal and Greece prevailed. Portugal saw off depleted Bosnia and Miroslav Blazevic will surely now slide gracefully into retirement. What a career he's had and isn't it amazing how black his hair has remained? Raul Meireles struck ten minutes after half-time and Bosnia's fate was sealed when Sejad Salihovic was sent off. They've done well, Bosnia, but this was a bridge too far. Greece won through in a predictably dull game, Dimitrios Salpigidis with the only goal of the 120 minutes. So far so good for FIFA's seeding plan.

But when all else was failing, step forward Slovenia. They gave Russia no breathing space at all and Zlatko Dedic struck a minute before half-time to hand them the lead on the night and, on away goals, in the tie. Russia never got going and Slovenia really got stuck in, making life hard. Andrei Arshavin never got in the game and the rattled Russian finished with nine men as, first, Alexander Kerzhakov and then Yuri Zhirkov were sent off as it threatened to boil over. Slovenia are therefore the only non-seeds to progress and represent a big up yours to FIFA and, for that reason, they are the official Euroballs side of the 2010 World Cup.