• Thursday, 15 June 2017


    Nickname for any Scandiavian/Finnish/Icelandic player ever. BECAUSE IT'S COLD or something.

    Thursday, 4 May 2017

    EFL to fine Blackburn for understrength manager

    The EFL today requested a response from Blackburn as to why they employed an understrength manager for the first 37 matches of the league season.

    Thursday, 22 December 2016

    Palermo manager's tenure

    descriptive of an infinitesimally short amount of time, e.g. the lifespan of mayfly, the blinking of an eye


    noun. Taking pleasure in the downfall of an utter chancer of a manager who would throw his own mother under a bus rather than admit their own shortcomings. Because they're a thigh-slapping Proper Football Man innit Jeff and what do those foreigns know about anything anyway eh? EH?

    Wednesday, 14 September 2016


    Of a goalkeeper, to throw one into his own net, preferably in comedic fashion.
    "Poor Danny Ward. Great start at Town, pulled off a blinder against Wolves, then Spraked one in at the Amex"

    Wednesday, 10 August 2016

    Roger Johnson

    1. n. The ability to start a fight with one's own reflection.

    2. v. A person who habitually falls out with those who are preternaturally disposed to be on the same side as them. "And Judas did kiss Jesus on both cheeks, betraying him to the Romans and Jesus was taken away. And John, who was with Jesus, did say 'You fucking Roger Johnsonned that Judas, you massive prick'" - Bible 2, author unknown

    Thursday, 12 May 2016

    Farewell to the Boleyn

    In keeping with media tradition, let's reminisce about the demise of an old stadium, just like we've never done for all the other ones.

    Nobody from this organisation ever went to either Upton Park or the Boleyn Ground, but it looked and sounded like a lot of other old football grounds. And that, we think, says it all.

    Friday, 30 October 2015

    Steve Evans appoints his own third-person persona as assistant

    Following a dispiriting home defeat to Blackburn Rovers, new Leeds United boss Steve Evans moved quickly to bolster his backroom team, appointing his own third-person idiom as his assistant.

    Wednesday, 26 August 2015

    Global transfer market to be replaced by Chelsea loans

    Wide-ranging reform to the global transfer system in football has been proposed in a white paper which outlines a replacement system by which players can only move from club to club via Chelsea loaning them out.

    Friday, 14 August 2015

    Mourinho wins mind-game with himself

    Long the master of the dark art of the mind game, Jose Mourinho has now beaten himself in a titanic battle of wills.