• Thursday, 5 March 2015

    Two grown adults claim the other one started it

    An ugly incident at last night's Newcastle v Manchester United fixture saw grown adults Papiss Cissé and Jonny Evans both claim that the other one started it and it wasn't fair.

    The two grown adults were seen to tussle with one another during the first half of the match at St James' Park and both claimed the other had spat at them, both also claiming that the other one did it first.

    Referee Anthony Taylor have missed the incident which will be reviewed by the FA's Disciplinary Panel. Possible sanctions to the two fully grown adults, both of whom are eligible to vote, include telling them to grow up, ask whether if one of them jumped off a bridge would the other one follow and take away their pocket money until they learn how to behave in public.

    Should the incident be judged to be of sufficient severity, the mothers of the two grown men will be called in to give them both a clip round the ear, explain how they're an embarrassment and potentially prevent them from playing out for a few days.

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