Yesterday at the Euros #17

Boring has been the buzzword of late. Bizarrely, it's an epithet applied to Spain's football.

Much has been written on the subject, not least this from James Hunt, and we're not about to go into a great deal of depth here. Suffice to say that it's hardly Spain's fault that other teams are so worried about them that they forget to do what they need to do to win and resort to sitting back and allowing the Spanish the ball. France tried to contain them and it failed. The game was not much of a spectacle as a result.

So what would Portugal do? They'd have a crack at their neighbours. They came flying out of the blocks, putting the Spanish goal under real pressure early on. In turn, this forced Spain to up their game. The game ebbed and flowed, going from one end to the other. The only trouble was, nobody could find a goal.

As the game wore on, a goalless draw looked increasingly inevitable as the fear of losing outweighed the desire to win. The one time a really clear-cut opportunity presented itself, it came to Portugal. On the break, they'd engineered a four-on-two opportunity. The standard tactic of 'pass it to Ronaldo' was enacted, but he shanked his shot badly. Extra time came and went - it would be settled by penalties.

Now, we've gone over penalties many, many times. We've discussed practice, technique, whether goalkeepers should dive or stand still. What we haven't discussed is the order of your first five takers. Surely, your best exponent of the art goes early - certainly in the first three. Spain sent their best - Xabi Alonso - up first. His shot was saved. Step forward Joao Moutinho: also saved. Iniesta finally got one on the board before Pepe and Pique did likewise. Then bizarre decision number one. Bruno Alves had almost got to the penalty spot when Nani caught him up and sent him away. Nani scored, followed by Sergio Ramos with a cheeky Panenka. Up stepped Bruno Alves again. What on earth was going through his mind having been usurped previously is anybody's guess. Off a long run, he absolutely smashed his kick - too much as it turned out and it came back off the bar. Fabregas won it with an unsaveable spot kick, going in off the post. Cameras cut instantly to Ronaldo, Portugal's designated man for the fifth penalty, a penalty that wasn't required.

The technique on all bar Alves's kick was excellent. Where Portugal fell down was in their selection, their undermining of Bruno Alves and of leaving their best player to take a kick that in any event may not have been needed. That was foolish in the extreme.

Today, the second semi-final as Germany take on Italy. No German side has beaten Italy at a major championships. It's a brave punter that predicts that run to continue.

Yesterday at the Euros #13

The day off was horrible and, frankly, the sop of one game yesterday barely took the edge off. Anyway, the quarter-finals are underway.

Czech Republic against Portugal was not a thriller. The Czechs started quite brightly, Portugal content to let them have the ball and have a look at them. Eventually they sussed them out, took control of possession and wore the Czechs down. For all they were edging matters, Portugal didn't look too great themselves. Nani fell over in the penalty area after a horrendous first touch - you don't get penalties for having a first touch like a landmine - and Ronaldo hit the outside of the post from a tight-ish angle late in the first half.

After the break, more of the same. Again, the post took a knock from Ronaldo and Hugo Almeida - first half substitute to replace thigh-twang victim Helder Postiga - missed a very good opportunity from close range. Still level with the clock running on, the Czechs had a brief spell of six or seven minutes where they exerted some pressure, largely through Vaclav Pilar, but it came to nothing. Instead, Portugal went up the other end and Joao Moutinho's cross was met by... him... with a towering header and they closed out the remaining five minutes with little alarm.

Two gripes, both about... him. That thing he does before free-kicks is bloody tiresome. It's like Jonny bleedin' Wilkinson and more often than not with the same result, i.e. the ball sailing way over the crossbar. Also, step-overs. Just pack it in eh? If it takes radical measures to eliminate this from the game, we'll back them. To whit, one free kick of the shins per step-over. That should sort it.

Tomorrow, Greece v Germany. Strap yourself in for European economic crisis punnery. We'll avoid that ta and watch this instead:





Go on Socrates!

New suggestion for dealing with divers

Sat here watching re-runs of the Euro 2012 qualifiers, Cristiano Ronaldo has just gone tumbling to the floor, letting out an agonising scream after running into the tiny and ancient frame of Dennis Rommedahl. That, sirs, was a dive. Booking Rommedahl was the wrong course of action by the referee - play on should have been the call.
However, taking this as a starting point, should the referee have deemed it a dive, he would have been duty bound to book Ronaldo, but this is clearly having no effect on the diving pandemic across football. Therefore, we propose that an additional sanction be applied. Yes, by all means caution the diver, but also allow the person the diver claims fouled them to issue a kick in the ribs of roughly approximate force to the scream/contorted dive/number of rolls post contact with floor. In the example above, Rommedahl would have been coming off about an eight-pace run-up to elicit the same response as that which ensued after slightly getting in the way of the pouty Portuguese.
Seriously, FIFA, we're doing your job for you here.

Ronaldo: "I'm booed for my lack of self-awareness"

In a candid interview for the Spanish press this week, Cristiano Ronaldo claimed it is his "lack of innate self-awareness" that prompted the boos that rang around the Maksimir Stadion as his Real Madrid side took on Dinamo Zagreb on Tuesday night.

"If I had even the slightest modicum of self-awareness", continued the pouting Portuguese dive-merchant, "I wouldn't keep issuing crass statements to the press about my good looks and how I'm the best player since football was invented. I wouldn't say what an honour it'd be to be tapped up by Anzhi Makachkala and earn in a few seconds what most Dagestanis survive on for a month. Now if you'll excuse me, there's a mirror over there that I need to check out my reflection in".