• Saturday, 31 December 2011

    That's Conference! #5 - A Mario Gomez special

    'The home of the Mario Gomez fan club' it says at the top of the page. That's more than tongue-in-cheek - it's an outright lie. Gomez, for all he keeps scoring goals, is rubbish. If you look at him for long enough, you'll be blinded by the goals into ignoring the fact that they're all either penalties, rebounds from crap penalties or two-yard tap-ins after someone else has done all the hard work. His constant goal-scoring exploits are therefore, to us anyway, a source of both bafflement and annoyance. With all that in mind, here's a special edition of That's Conference! dedicated to the big man.

    First, three yards out, open goal. He can't possibly miss:

    Next, great work from Franck Ribéry, neat cut back. He's eight yards out. All he has to do is pick his spot:

    Edge of the area, license to shoot. Head over the ball, keep it down...

    Trip over the ball, why not?

    It would only be fair to end with an actual goal, by way of balance. Here, he bags a consolation for Stuttgart after being routed by FC Bayern (a one-yard tap-in, naturally). And what's the thanks he gets? A punch in the swingers:

    Mario Gomez: That's Conference!
    Here's to more in 2012.

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