Player moves to different club; nation goes fucking mental

The nation went fucking mental today as a player who had long since signed a contract to move to another club is about to take up that contract.

The player, who has previously been linked with moves away from his current club and is a master of the come-and-get-me plea, is hailed as some sort of bastion of loyalty and the impending winding-down of his current contract has sent the UK press into meltdown.

Most sports sections today are at least 50% about the player who has probably played a bit too much top-level football these last couple of years and his achievements in never winning a league title are bigged up into some sort of Ozymandian treasure trove.

While the player does something that pretty much every other professional player has and will do, the tributes and borderline obituaries are expected to continue for some weeks and months yet.