Arsenal midfielder makes scientific breakthrough

"Give an infinite number of monkeys an infinite number of typewriters, and eventually one will produce the works of Shakespeare."

Wenger, Arsene

Successful manager of Arsenal FC, who suffers from a debilitating blindness during matches, particularly if one of his players dives to win a penalty or gets sent off for a two-footed lunge. Frequently accuses teams that beat him of being overly physical, to which everyone else's response is 'just bloody deal with it then'